“Life Quotes” Part 40

I would have loved to have contributed to this fake article/cover story.

“I never really wanted to write it in the regular way from beginning to end. That’s not the way my brain works. That would make it into a job, and I’m not looking for another job.” [Neil Young said this recently about writing a best-selling book. God bless that man.]

“The referee before halftime threw a flag and warned Hudson would be penalized if the music continued. Moore says the band director decided the students should leave.” [This isn't a proper quote, more of an excerpt. It's about a high-school band that was recently told not to play during a football game. That's fuckin' weird.]

“You take a magazine like Newsweek and make it more like a British tabloid … suddenly the audience that was depending on that magazine disappears. It’s not the messenger; it’s the message.” [Samir "Mr. Magazine" Husni recently said this of the demise of the print edition of Newsweek.]

“The basic message of the song is ‘put out or get out.’” [I remember it like it was yest- ... well, two days ago, tops. It's a gorgeous fall morning in Fort Collins in 1993. I just moved here and I'm walking to (high) school with a dude named Tyler and he's talking about the song "More Than Words," by Extreme. I've always agreed that Extreme suck ballsack; major, major ballsack, but I'm fascinated by my colleague's analysis of their acoustic hit and also by his claim that Extreme are a "secular" band. I had never heard the word "secular" before and I thought that was hilarious. Little did I realize Tyler was a born-again christian who, like so many of his ilk, became obsessed with secularism while the rest of us never really had time to trifle with such worthless notions.]

“If you just like sit there with your eyes closed you can feel Him man; he’s there. [The same Tyler character from above introduced me to a fellow Christian, who subsequently sat down Native American-style and showed us how he liked to pray at the time. All the time I was thinking, Man, these extreme christians are fuckin' stupid! Turned out Tyler's new interest in christianity also caused his band and a close friendship to break up; way to go, jesus!]

“This is Ryan’s first debate; he might have done something in high school.” [Mitt Romney said this a few weeks ago, attempting to tamp down expectations for the recent vice presidential debate.]

“I don’t think Bob Dole is too old to be president. It’s the age of his ideas that I question.”  [Bill Clinton, god bless 'im, said this during one of his debates with poor ol' Dole. It's interesting how Republicans hated him so much when he was president, and now snuggle up to him like a kitty to a radiator. When will someone start linking them with G.W. Bush?]