Check this fuckin' thing out: A compilation inside a button. Neat.
Doomstar – “Rainbow Bloodsucker” MP3/download
Kal Marks – “Hey Hannah You Forgot Your Gloves” MP3/download
[Warning: I refer to myself in the third person in the first paragraph. If such displays sicken you, please skip to the second sentence or paragraph. Good day.]
The kidz have put one over on poor, unsuspecting Gumshoe once again. So you’re meaning to tell me you blasted a punk-rock compilation onto a computer chip and now I can wear that computer chip as a stylish button attached to my pure-silk lapel? Pretty soon I’ll be fishing albums out of cereal boxes and wearing full-length albums as surprisingly stylish earrings (I actually have no earrings; this ruse was conjured to emphasize my point).
Never thought I’d say it, but I think LPs and cassettes have been outgunned on this one. It’s just too convenient. When I was opening the package I thought it must be a 3-inch CD or maybe even a microcassette (both of which I’ve received in the past); because I no longer possess the capacity to play those things in the first place, finding a teeny-tiny, pocketwatch-sized device instead seemed almost, dare I say, preferrable to a hunk of plastic. But that’s a discussion for another day (let’s call it May 14, 2013) — at this point I should tell you about the people behind the “Boston Hassle” compilation: Boston Hassle (the very same!).
Apparently the ol’ BH is a Boston entertainment blog, albeit one dreamed up specifically to serve the needs of the few and far between, the noise/experimental/underground heads that would rather eat a bilge rat then attend a Kings Of Leon concert. A noble cause, indeed, and I’m pretty sure the proceeds from this handy little pocket-comp will go into the organization’s coffers (a good thing).
Now that I’ve gotten the pleasantries out of the way let’s fuckin’ do this thing. As “Boston Hassle” does its best to pelt the listener with a withering barrage of different bands/styles/attitudes, I’ll go ahead and do this puppy up bullet-style:
- Needy Visions, old friends of our little Grove, reassert themselves with a different motif. I remember them being pretty rockin’, but here they slow things down and slap a few synths down. A move that will earn them many fans and a hesitant half-nod from me. Love that rippin’ keyboard solo though; maybe these guys will sort it out.
- From there I direct you to Doomstar, the group that, of all those featured on this shit-kickin’ collection, brings the sturdiest punk sound to the mix. The False Prophets factor in heavily for ME, but the kids might relate more to a namedrop of Thee Oh Sees, The Thermals, Black Lips or The Dwarves circa “I’m In Love With Everybody’s Girl.” Whatever poison you pick, Doomstar be deadly.
- Easily dishing out the weirdest contribution are Fat History Month, a band baring skinny production, knock-knee’d instrumentation and pale, white vocals for all to see. While Doomstar hit me hardest, FHM might in the end have more staying power. It’s like eat Sic Alps and shitting Guinea Worms. We shall see.
- Big Digits? Accordian and hip-hop in an uncomfortable arranged marriage? A sample solo? I’m not even ready to go there. NEXT. (If you’re reading this, Big Digits, send me your record and we’ll talk; I understand what you’re doing, it’s just too complicated for me to go into right now. I need to here more, also.)
- After FHM and Big Dig I didn’t think things could get any weirder. That was before Kid Romance stuck their lizard tongue up my ear and shocked me with an impromptu reacharound. I’m pretty sure Jandek would hear this and call it strange and Dynasty Handbag would do same and think it indulgent. I guess that’s what’s so interesting about it, yet I honestly don’t know if this is actually music. Hmmmm.
- Ski Mask are blown out of their minds too, like a gang of testy Germans taking over a nightly newscast. Who curated this fuckin’ thing? This thing’s even weirder than the comp I put out.
AND I’m spent. I will however, name off the rest of the bands on the “Boston Hassle” compilation for you:
- Saralee
- Pile
- Exusamwa
- Cuffs (they kinda suck because they can actually play)
- Kal Marks (now that I think about it “Not Afraid to Die” should have been investigated above, with its mad-scientist tribute to Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, up-tempo Clinic and Wavves)
- Ming Ming
- The Debo Band (Friday reference? I once knew a couple with a dog named Debo.)
