Desolate Horizon – s/t – Reality Impaired Recordings [Album As Art #76]

Order “Desolate Horizon” HERE (it’s the only copy I could find for sale online; in fact it’s the only link I could find to this band, period, save this discogs page)

I was going to write a new column called “Music Memories” tonight, wherein I would provide to you a list of songs and write about the complicated reminiscences attached to each one. Buuut that’s going to have to wait, as I just got hypnotized by this scary, post-Odd Nosdam (a great thing), pre-Landed, Black Moth Super Rainbow-if-BMSR-were-satanic, nefariously delicious Desolate Horizons tape I randomly popped in; nothing else matters right now … I swear to you I could not love a human baby or human female more than I love this tape (just kidding honey!).

I am kidding but I’m not kidding — I seriously DO-DO crave music that sluices straight from the juices of the devil himself, and on top of that it’s gratifying to find such value in a small-run cassette, dubbed in 2005-06 and released by a label in buttfuck Missouri (Reality Impaired Recordings, home to a few other bands I’ve heard of, tantamount among them Agathocles). Along with my Emeralds/Aaron Dilloway split, the Oneohtrix Point Never/Caboladies split, The Fresh & Onlys “Bomb Wombs” cassette, a purple Prince Rama tape and a select-few others (mostly by Locrian/members of Locrian and Hoor-Paar-Kraat), “Desolate Horizons” is a crown jewel of sorts in my collection.

There’s a good chance this one-sider was cobbled together randomly by a button-pushing FREAK with a handy rhythm-/melody-/looping-correcting program or some such luck, but button-pushing never works as a matter of course. There has to be tension, drama, violence, dark alley corners, split lips, howling wolves, trash compactors, smiling robot sales clerks, chrome dreams, smirking, stereotypical bad guys, scabbed-over soul patches, giggling goblins, gurgling ghouls, dripping faucets, shuttles blasssting off, wind through tree tips, children laughing then crying, disputed territories, lost loves, empty bunkers, fire-ravaged landscapes, great depressions, crippling recessions, dime-dropping, phasers set to STUNNN, dinner-plate sopping, Dr. Who-ing, rear windows, junkyard dogs’ teeth … for me to be interested you’ve gotta pack the random brilliance of life into every noggin’-jogging nook and every cranial cranny. CAN YOU GET ME THERE!?!?! CAN YOU?

In most cases, not. Desolate Horizon were busy creating one of the best tapes I’ve ever heard before I even knew I wanted to collect tapes again (used to stock up on Motley Crue/Metallica tapes like a muh-fuh back in the diddly-day). It’s hard to believe how long ago 2005 is, but you wouldn’t know it listening to this one-sided onslaught.

If you’ve ever spent time tinkering with a drum machine you might think you can make cold, uncaring, post-Terminator, death-eyes-in-the-middle-of-a-snake-black-night music, but you most likely can’t; leave that to my MAIN NINJA Steve P. from Ohio (gotta love in-depth tape-sleeve bios). He’s got his grabe-robbin’ groove on and he’s coming back for seconds, and thirds, fourths and … whatever comes after four. TRACKLIST: