“Life Quotes” Part 9 [Curiosities #135]

A wise man once said ... well, this is a pic of a wise-looking man ...

[First, check out "Life Quotes" Part 1, "Life Quotes" Part 2, "Life Quotes" Part 3, "Life Quotes" Part 4, "Life Quotes" Part 5, "Life Quotes" Part 6, "Life Quotes" Part 7 and "Life Quotes" Part 8]

I’m having a bit of a crisis. I’m starting to realize that even if I use every quote ever spoken in my direction I’ll still run out at some point and this column will be deader than Brittany Murphy (I went to school with a girl named Brittany Murphy and she is not dead; I’m talking about the actress, obviously).

Until then, however, let the goodness flow:

“Grant’s cool, totally … yeah! But he’s also so moody! It’s like, what the fuck?” [SFCC's The Communicator colleague and longtime friend Alex Younkin let me listen in on a phone conversation he was having with Jenna Donovan a long time ago and my name eventually came up.]

“Hey! How’s … yourself?” [Childhood friend Ryan Scanlon (best athlete I've ever observed/played with, by the way) talking to my mom, who was teaching a piano lesson at the time. My mom always disliked Scanlon and I had no idea why; his family took me ice fishing, fer chrissake.]
“Harley Davidson SUCKS.” [Some kid said this to me at a roller rink in Coeur d' Alene, Idaho, when I dared wear a Harley shirt (and it was a cool shirt, with a pig in a biker hat/jacket, smoking), in fourth grade.]

“Man, she makes me sweat.” [My dad, circa 1990 or so, talking to my uncle Bob Katzoff about the Deanna Troi character in Star Trek: Next Generation, played somewhat ably by Marina Sirtis.]
“Dead horse can sometimes be edible.” [Harry Shearer, speaking with Bill Maher on Real Time on May 13.]
“I think you should have sex with basketball players and Greeks — men, from Greece.” [Tom Green utters these words in Freddie Got Fingered ... to his mother. He's trying to get her to sleep with "strange men" in order to get back at his father.]
“Man I love chips. Sometimes I can go a whole day eating nothing but chips.” [Josh Plummer (longtime friend and member of Subtle [Spokane], Stigma, First Story Jumper and The Last Melting Man) said this to me in 1999, back when he was living in a house in Washington (state) with Travis Edwards and Jason Lyons. Eventually Jeremy Berg (also of Stigma, etc., now of Seven Cycles) sat on the coffee table in the house and shattered the glass, but that’s another story.]
“Naw, that’s alright, I don’t really like chips.” [Plummer said this THE VERY NEXT DAY, I SWEAR TO THE ALL-KNOWING, ALL-FATHOMING LORD ABOVE.]