"Hey there good-lookin', we'll be back to pick YEW up LAter!!!"
Followed By Static – “AADC” MP3/download
The Followed By Static/Bonni Bonita split 7-inch is a pretty lopsided battle, with FBS blowing Bonita’s BRAINS out in a back alley by dint of their bulletproof allegiance to Jesus & Mary Chain (coupled with a strange two-man-band feel; think Bass Drum Of Death, Modey Lemon; not Black Keys though, they are an audio abortion) and strange way of sounding like three bands at once and one band at thrice. YIKES MAN, CAN’T THIS DICK EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH? Yes, yes I can. BARELY.
It’s funny, because if the opening riff were any indication, Followed By Static’s track would suck balls. Then the verse kicks in, puts on a pair of dark shades and strides into my living room and I have to say, I’m a little loopy (and a little scared, as an unkempt musician is in my living room and probably planning on killing and/or raping me) on their schtuffffff …
It’s amazing what a well-conceived vocal presentation will do for a band. Don’t get me wrong, I like the instrumentation, even the clunky transitions between the smoooooth-azz verses, but without the 39 Clocks/Colin Newman/Lou-something deadpan these boys would be outta luck, busking in the back parking lot with the other mid-punk LOSERS. (LOSERS!!! LOSERS!!!)
But they pull it off and still find time to … get the fuck out of dodge before the bill is due. I walk to the back of the diner to get a pot of coffee and BING-BLIGGETY-BLIP-BLOOP PUWINGGGG — they’re out of there, without leaving a tip. Rock ‘n’ fuckin’ ROLL, brother!
The Bonni Bonita side, well, here’s the thing: I hate it when writers equate artists to an inside joke only funny/interesting to those involved in its creation. But that’s exactly what I feel like B Bonita’s track is — a fun game of grab-the-goose; a jam session that doesn’t have much value if you weren’t there playing along. That’s just a fact.
Bands much worse than these folks were getting quite a bit of action with a similar get-up, acts like Popular & Attractive and Ear Pwr, and I see how Bonni is superior to that brand of indie schmucking. And if they tried to write a good song along the lines of, say, The Unicorns, I think they just might split the apple in two.
I don’t, however, think Bonni Bonita rise very far above the threshold of listenability when all is said and diggety-diggety-done-done. And are they insulting bands with cookie-monster vocalists in there? Hey, that’s like sticking a knife in my delicate, many-times-broken heart, brothers and sisters, so spare me the shellacking and make some tunes that will mean something to more people than You (and you, and you; you, over there, you too, but that’s all).
Not that I think some dude writing a pointless blog is any better than a group of kids having fun in the jamz roomz. TOOT ON, SON; TOOT OOOOOOOOON …
