Vincent Gallo – “So Sad” 12-inch – Warp Records [Lucky 7-inch #47]

Vincent Gallo – “So Sad” MP3/download

I’ve included Vincent Gallo‘s “So Sad” 12-inch in my “Lucky 7-inch” series because, by all rights, this is a 7-inch; the only thing separating this ball-o’-wax from a smaller slice is a ton of empty real estate and a flip side that features “So Sad” in 78 RPM format.

Gee, thanks? Now I can play this on my $5 turntable that I bought to play 78s and vanquished to the garage because it smelled so much like old balls and barely TURNED … one of the most important features of a turntable, I might add … and beyond that the 78s I possess are of dying condition, not fit to even get out of bed, like a dusty old fart waiting to kick the bucket.

ANYway, V. Gallo … where do I start? He’s one of those guys, I guess: Too weird to ignore, too weird to Get, too weird to truly be happy on this earth (seriously, I can see his sadness and it’s … it’s lovely). He doesn’t poke his prairie-dog head up out of the dirt too often, but when he does I’m fend ta’ take notice.

I bought “So Sad” for $19, so please, by all means cry for me, as I could use the kinetic energy of your tears to energize this review. In fact I’ll soak up the pre-tears before I’ve even POSTED this just to make sure I can get through it …

It’s hard for me to even accept how beautiful and fleeting “So Sad” is. If ever a track were worthy of a 12-inch with 98 percentdead space and a 78 RPM version, I guess this would be it (just listen/download this thing via the link if you don’t believe me; you’ll melt all over your cushions), but I would have killed for a b-side, a flip-dip to complete the trip. Oh well.

“So Sad”: Peruse the lyrics below — this isn’t a tune that trifles. It says its piece and says “peace” in a few minutes and BAM, you’re out $19 (not that I know what THAT’s all about). The clean-electric guitar/no-piece drums set-up is perfect, and the vocals are There, and the production is as good as it conceivably could be and … and … yet that’s not It; none of these things sum up why this tune is so uncommonly of-quality.

I’m sure reviewing Buffalo 66 wasn’t any easier. Labeling art like this is akin to quantifying why people act the way they do, or discovering the secret algorithms behind speech and musicianship — I don’t have the tools to decipher these things, and, though it’s easy to believe them, other critics don’t either.

Assuming critics, however, should just blow their heads off once they realize the futility of their efforts, numerous as they often are, is folly, as trying to pin the tail on these determinately elusive donkeys is half the fun. Like Haribo gummy bears — I could use a few of those puppies right now, come to think — every bite seems to bring me one step closer to finally scratching that Itch that causes me to crave them, but it’s all an illusion.

And again, that’s the beauty of it. If Gallo were a bearded gummy I’d chew him until … well, I’ve said too much …

Lyrics:

why do I always feel sad?
why do I make things get sad?

So sad, so sad

why do I make things feel blue?
why do I make things turn blue?

so blue, so blue