Masters Of The Hemisphere – “I Am Not a Freemdoom” LP – Slumberland Records [Daily MP3 #125/Album As Art #49]

Download 2002′s Protest a Dark Anniversary, by Masters Of The Hemisphere, RIGHT HERE!

*** Masters Of The Hemisphere – “Sailboat Kite” MP3 [refer to the player at the top-right to hear this GEM of an acoustic campfire ditty] ***

Masters Of The Hemisphere were one of the first bands I took on as a fledgling reviewer for The Local Planet Weekly in Spokane, Wash., and they delivered, via Protest a Dark Anniversary, a song that haunts me — in a good way — “Sailboat Kite.”

Now, all these years later, I find I Am Not a Freemdoom at a record store and it’s like I’m back in Spokane, going to community college and writing for the local weekly. I also like Arby’s, which I haven’t like since … guessss! (Since around then!)

Where were we? Masters Of The Hemisphere, that’s right! How could a group with such a unique, ambitious name fail to plot some melodious dynamite, tie it to the side of a local bridge, and blow it up and everything remotely near it?

And the answer is, well, I think they did, in their own way. They released a few un-snub-able records, including the wry, precious Protest a Dark Anniversary, then pretty much went their separate ways. Right?

Yep, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened. Also, didn’t Slumberland close down too, right around then? Who’s to say, right? It’s all said and done at this point. All I have left are my lifetime of silver memories and this Masters Of The Hemisphere record, hermetically sealed all these years in anticipation of me finding it.

I Am Not a Freemdoom is a concept album, a much-ballyhooed  practice, but one I constantly find to be an accompaniment to great recorded works. Freemdoom doesn’t reach the moon, as Masters damn-near do when they do what they do that no one else can do better, but it’s a shot across Neil Armstrong’s bow, call it; this is where the group solidified and took it upon themselves to deliver riDICulous treasure, but at a price — the price of the Concept Album (you didn’t forget!) …

I think humans, in general, work better when they feel their toiling will result in something worthwhile, and this is often the case with Concept masterworks (or, in some cases you get people going crazy and burning down their studio). Like I said, Freemdoom isn’t anything to get all hung up on, but it’s darn-necessary, the sort of indie-pop-up record that always gets over-polished and shined up to ridiculous effect in the wrong hands. Just give me the tunes, I don’t need mountains to be made or mountains of money to be spent. Just look at what Masters do with just a few bucks!

You’d think the Elephant 6 collective woulda snatched these guys up like an orange twin-pop. There’s a definitely pre-Of Montreal (though Of Montreal were already around) landscape, and the lazy-river drop of it all smacks of several E6 outfits. They’ve got all the right moves: horns — whether synthesized or not — whimsy, acoustic guitars as if they’re the only guitar a noble one plays, horns — and with such a large number of tunes spun (15 here, I believe) it’s only a matter of time before you hit upon something that’ll fly your way.

I prefer one of the songwriters to the other; is that fair? I just won’t go there. In fact, in light of all the time it’s taken to even get to THIS point, I’m going to load up the many pictures I took of the accompanying comic book (you knew that a concept album would have to include a comic, right? Jeez man, get a Col. Mustard already) and geeeet theeeee heeeell outta heeeeeeee.

Seriously man, I’m DONE.