Calm down, this isn't a pornographic dream. Or IS IT???
Smiths – “Meat is Murder” live MP3 [My favorite all-time Smiths song, which is strange because I love bacon and other salty meats. Not the best version, but I'll take what I can get.]
I never have dreams, and if I do I never remember them.
Somehow, my brain fought through the Ambien haze and seized hold of the dream I had this morning after waking up super-early to see my wife off to work (you have no idea how pleasurable it is to stay in bed; that is, unless you’re one of about 15 million unemployed Americans).
Anyway, the dream starts off in a fairly bad neighborhood in an unidentified city. My wife and I are walking down the street.
We see another couple and I say something to them, jokingly. Whatever it was I said — can’t remember, sorry — sets the guy off, and he CHARGES at me!
I’ve been charged only once in real life. It was my friend Kyle and we were both drunk. I grabbed him by the hands and spun him around like we were ballet partners. I think he was more drunk because he fell and I tried to kick him. After I kicked him he said, “DO YOU THINK THIS HURTS ME PURDUM, DO YOU THINK THIS HURTS ME?” We pretty much made up after that.
This time, I take the old three-point stance, football-style, and, because it is a dream, I manage to tackle the guy and throw him to the ground. Then, just like in the situation with Kyle, I start kicking the guy while he’s down. Maybe not fair, but HE CHARGED ME right?
He and his woman run off, and — this is a dream, don’t forget — I become convinced the guy is going to round up a bunch of his friends and come after me. (I’ve been in this situation before in real life; don’t ask why, how or when, please?).
My worst nightmares are realized when a few young dudes — who look like they might be friends with the guy I tackled and clock-cleaned — stroll into my crappy dream apartment (nothing’s ever locked in dreams, notice that?) and tell me, “You need to come with us.”
I dutifully follow. They lead me to a telephone poll. Apparently, they aren’t going to accost me at all; they want to show me a poster for a music festival. Weird. (My wife and I have already made plans to attend South By Southwest in 2011, so this is a very topical dream.)
The whole shebang is strange as all get-out, but the weirdest part comes when I look closer at the flyer. I see Morrissey (you know, formerly of the Smiths and now solo), in a traditional promo shot, surrounded by like a dozen musicians. Apparently he is going to play the imaginary festival with a full orchestra backing him up (the dream-photo also reminded me of a lot of ska band promo photos, but I just can’t see Moz doin’ the Kansas City skank).
And that’s where the dream ends. Hope that was interesting enough to hold your attention; all I’m sayin’ is that if Morrissey shows up to South By Southwest 2011 with a huge backing band, I will officially take up residence as an indie-rock psychic/clairvoyant.
I also flashed to the live concert my wife and I attended a few years ago, wherein Moz, at one point, pulled apart his button-up shirt with a flourish, revealing his hairy chest and nipples. [shudder]
That is all. I realize this dream was a lot less JUICY than many-a Morrissey dream several of you have probably had, no doubt, but it’s still rattling around in my brain so I figured I’d share it. Thanks for reading!
I’ve been listening to the Smiths for the past day and a half non-stop! It only took me a good 20 years to get into them.
P.S. I posted a link to your blog in my blog roll because the kids need to be educated on what good music is these days!
oh my god is this my Coug bff Jonalynn? holy god, great to hear from you! still in the tri-cities? oh man, so much time has passed, hope you’re doing well, yr one of my faves!
Of course this is your Coug bff Jo-Jo! I don’t know any other hizzo with the name Jonalynn!
Just wanted to stop by your bloggy blog and show some <3. I am on a Smiths binge and saw your post and had to respond.
I think it would be rad it if you would do guest posts regarding the latest tunes on my blog, turnuptherad.blogspot.com if you have time.
I live in the racist, intolerant state of Arizona, now. Bruce was recruited for a job here. I left the Tri in 2006 and took a job at the Fresno Bee in California doing sports page design and copy editing and was there until February when we moved to the AZ.
Where are you and your adorable fam residing these days? Your daughter is beautiful!
thanks (about penny), she’s 2-1/2 so we’re just getting to that point where all our hard work is paying off, if that makes sense. she’s talkin’ trash, joking, struttin’ … all the stuff that just doesn’t happen over the first year or so …
haha, have you been stopped and forced to show your id card yet? man, that law is going to hopefully lose some elections for a lot of people. for GOD’S SAKE HOW CAN THIS BE HAPPENING?
fresno bee … why is that familiar? is that where that one girl from WSU went? hmm … sounds cool though, was it a good experience?
i’m in fort collins, colorado. i’ve been staying home with penny while my wife works for a year (had a HORRIBLE copy-editing/work experience in New York so it was welcome) now, but i’m back on the hunt and probably heading to texas for an interview with a paper in a city called Tyler soon, so that’s nice, to be back in the swing of things, feeling a little more in-demand than I have in awhile (only sent out a few resum-izzles and BLING-BAM).
Dude I will write something for you if you want, yessir. what do you want me to do? lemme know!
dude, by the way, there’s this movie, “full frontal” and this girl at one point says her porn name would be “Jo Jo Mountain Dew” and I totally thought of you (not because of the “porn” thing but the “jo jo” thing). ha!