Leopard Leg / T.I.T.S. – “The Seven Sistered Sea-Secret of Shh Shh Shh / Throughout the Ages” – Upset The Rhythm Records [Album As Art #37/Daily MP3 #66]

T.I.T.S. – “Throughout the Ages” MP3/download
Leopard Leg – “The Seven Sistered Sea-Secret of Shh Shh Shh” download

The fabled Leopard Leg / T.I.T.S. split is something of a legend in the Gumshoe home. (Listen to the TWO FREE DOWNLOADS and you’ll hear why!)

I was record shopping in California on a job-interview trip — that’s right; before the recession newspapers would actually fly a homeboy out — and that was when I first laid eyes on this bi-color vinyl blur.

Intrigued by the packaging I took a listen and found I wasn’t ready for what the 2XLP contained. The moaning, swirling smoke, bass avalanches and such were too hot to handle, when it came down to it. I passed.

Then, the other day I noticed an unsealed “new” copy (how does that work?) of it at Twist & Shout and finally took the plunge. And I have to say — I was ridiculously wrong for not nabbing The Seven Sistered Sea-Secret of Shh Shh Shh / Throughout the Ages in 2007. 

It’s one of the best albums I’ve heard all year, belated or no … It’s got all those little touches you want from a drone-rock band, those imperfections that sound like one of the songs from Rankin + Bass’ animated version of The Hobbit backed by the chicks from Spires In The Sunset Rise.

There’s also some splatter-rock in the ballpark of Magik Markers/Erase Erratta that really drives the whole project home. THIS is what I wanted that Rings record to sound like, or that — any — Rameses III record, or any other number of albums that never comes through on their promise.

Leopard Legs’ end of the bargain is my favorite, just because it’s so cloaked in mystery, fluid in its transitions from mood to mood and well-thought-out. You won’t find this brand of post-Animal Collective group-chant from just any group (face it, Local Natives and their ilk suck), nor will you find such virulent post-Cocorosie freak-folkin’ without the ear-tests Kalikak Family, Wooden Wand & The Vanishing Voice and the rest are so prone to.

L. Leg’s two songs, “Sea” and “Skoteino Dasos,” fill a side of heavyweight vinyl each, and you won’t want either to end. “Sea” is the more chant-driven of the two, while “Skoteino” plays “spoonman” with tons of tiny percussive clanging and clacking together in unison.

Only thing is, there are ghosts in them-thar hills, and you can hear them creeping into town as the knick-knacks tick away.

Don’t play either side around kids — these weirdos really sound perturbed when they let a banshee shriek rip from their fluid-filled lungs. Truly spectacular.

T.I.T.S. seem to have cornered the market on the Liars aesthetic: Rudimentary tom-tom plunks and monotone chanting, bolstered by whatever else happened to be lying around — in this case, detuned strings.

Then they ramp up their attack and come out with the big guns, dealing in distorted guitar and kiddie-kit drums. This section — “Lovely Home” is the name, I believe — is not bad but also not good. It hovers in the middle until the ladies decide to break things up again with destructive doom trances and random guitar picking that sounds like Thurston Moore taking baby steps to the rock ‘n’ roll toilet with his mates in Sonic Youth — in 1983 or so. 

Yep, pretty rough and prickly on the tongue. I can dig it, though. T.I.T.S.