The Gumshoe Grove

Not funny.

Man, I don’t know what to say/write. I’ve been neglecting this blog, badly. And I meant to hop back on tonight but I watched an episode of Jimmy Fallon and felt so utterly cheated and betrayed I couldn’t bring myself to write about music.

He seems like a nice guy, but Fallon is so wooden you could chisel him from Carson Daly’s 100-percent-oak ballbag. His interviews come about as naturally as AIDS; he repeats what the guests say, if that, and appears to lack the calm, cool confidence required to comfortably converse with another human. I guess that’s why he’s the perfect replacement for talking-hunk-of-ass-cheddar Jay Leno. Don’t get me started on the dated joke content either (yep, Anthony Weiner; pretty fresh stuff there!). To think Fallon has been deemed a suitable replacement for Leno while Conan tosses salad on TNT or TBS or whatever-the-fizz; the Lord Himself should be weeping a little over that one.

And who’s that guy off to the side, rattling off old-timey jokes? When Fallon rips on him I actually feel sorry for him. That’s not entertainment.

Not to mention: Fallon RUINED THE ROOTS. Remember The Roots? The rap group? About 15 years ago I saw them open for Rage Against The Machine. Now I’m watching them fart out faux-soul/r&b with some dickhole from Maroon 5 sitting in. You’ve gotta back yankin’ my crank on this one, right boys?

Even the skit involving The Roots, wherein the band would freestyle a song to match what an audience member said to Fallon’s vacuous questions, fell flat on its face. The dude singing never varied his pitch or cadence, nor looked away from his cue card. It’s supposed to be comedy, fuckin’ own that shit or go home. If Fallon and The Roots want to have anything left at the end of this decade they’ll leave this joke of a show now.

I don’t want to be hard on Fallon but he might have killed The Gumshoe Grove. Which sucks because I had a ton of cool shit planned (new Miles EP on clear wax, several new Castle Face goodies, Racebannon side project from hell, a few tapes from Handmade Birds, etc.). Only time will tell.